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        shootingstar420  30, Female, California, USA - 72 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    1:54 PM EDT
       

    today was the last day of sixth grade and i was so sad . my friends and i were crying . they are the bestest friends in the world i love them so much that i cant say it in word . i know one day sixth grade is gonna be a memory and its gonna be a special memory. i love this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    a friend is somebody who is there for u wen ur down and is there for u wen ever u share bad good sad and even happy times with them they are like sisters or brothers to u they are ur family so ill remeber all of my bff's
    JACKY,KARLA,DAISY,ANGIE,EDNA,IHOMIRA,SELENA,PAOLA, AND EVERYBODY ELSE I LOVE U GUYS AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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        HAPPYPHANTOM1978  47, Male, Ohio, USA - First entry!
    21
    Jun 2007
    12:45 PM EST
       

    I dont really know what to do with myself anymore. I try to be strong, I try to think positive, and carry on with some semblance of a daily routine. It just doesnt work. I miss Adam SO much, that I cant even carry on a normal daily regimine. I try to sleep as long, and as much as I possibly can...even then, what sleep I do get is littered with dreams/nightmares that just make me more depressed when I wake. I really dont understand how I got to where I am today. When Adam and I met, we just clicked. I dont know how to explain it, or how to really put it into words. Im not some naive kid who is just going through a bad breakup. I've been in relationships that have lasted over 7 years, and walked away unattached. With Adam, I honestly believe I found my soulmate. He completed me in so many ways, and I the same for him. It was like the missing piece of my heart and soul was finally intact...life couldn't get any better. Dont get me wrong, there are problems in every relationship...and we had our fair share early on. We made it over and through every obstacle though. Adam just deals with problems in completely the wrong way. He runs, he hides, he lies. I know he loves me with all his heart, and only wants to be with me...I really dont doubt that at all. I know he suffers from depression, and an extremely low self-esteem. He thinks his family doesnt love him, and everything he does is wrong. I've tried to be there for him, in every way I possibly can. I've stood beside him through all of his trials, i've fought for him, and carried him when he was weak. He has told me time and time again that I am the only thing that makes him happy in life, that when hes with me everything else doesnt matter...all focus is on me. Yet, when he freaks out and gets really depressed, im the first thing he pushes away. He says he makes too many mistakes. I just dont understand anything he does. I dont blame him for everything...I honestly think he needs help. He wont get it though, he claims he can handle the problem on his own. We havent really talked for almost 2 weeks...the last time we talked he told me that we would never see eachother, or talk to eachother again. That he was done, and moving on. He has said this all before, and he came back all by himself. I dont really take to heart anything he says, although I admit that it hurts me deeply to hear him say these things. I would give my life for this boy any day, without thought or hesitation. He really is the key to my happiness. Everyone says that he doesn't deserve me...that I could do better. I cant move on even if I wanted to, its just not that easy. I can safely say that if he doesnt come back, I will never be with anyone else...or truly be happy again. This sounds rough, but I know its true. I may learn to cope better, and have some semblance of life...but there will always be a sadness in my soul, and a piece of my being missing. Some days, I honestly wish I could just disappear. That I could erase my mind. The pain and hurt is honestly more than I can even describe. Its just a horrible sick feeling that never goes away. My heart tells me he will be back, but it still hurts. Every day, I have to surround myself with people...or I go crazy. I pace the room, I cry, I make myself sick. Its a horrible existance. I dont really think he thinks its as bad as it really is. I've been leaving him alone. I dont try to call him, or text him. Im hoping he will realize soon what hes doing. I wish I could just hug him...calm him down, and let him know that everything is going to be alright. Until then, I'll wait...
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        thoughts  45, Female, North Carolina, USA - 2 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    1:38 PM EDT
       

    gotta get me together
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        thoughts  45, Female, North Carolina, USA - 2 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    1:36 PM EDT
       

    Well these last past weeks have been so chaotic for me but hey it's nothing that i can't handle. I had a fight with my crazy boyfriend because he wants to be a man whore he wants to come sleep with me, call this other chick and leave me naked in the bed kiss my forehead and then he said call him the next day OOOOHHH hell no , we all know that i went ballistic i swiped all my stuff off the dresser broke my lamps and everything then i came to my senses and said well my lamp didn't do this to me and so then i started beating on him told him that he made me feel like a whore and i know this man could have knocked me slam out but i guess he was scared from the fact that i had the nerve to hit him in the first place. Then he is going to walk to this other chick house , so i kindly got in my truck seen him walking and hit him with the truck door. Let me reverse and tell what happened from the beginning prior to this night i cried when he left one day because my bed was cold if u know what i mean i got over that through crying and venting on paper then i with my stupid self let this man come right back over not even a week later, i called him thursay and told him i would talk to him sunday so i guess that threw him becausei made it clear there would be no conversation on the weekend he made it his business to come by my house get some head and sex for "fathers day", well his exact words were you gotta make me feel special it's fathers day put your mouth on it and i said what you want some head now don't you and at this time i had no idea he was leaving, but i should have known something this motherfu&ker had his socks on and nothing else. So then after he got finished mind you i didn't come he's going to go in the kitchen use my cellphone call this bitch and ask her is she home yet so i'm like what the fuc, kindly brung his ass in the room to kiss my forehead WHAT !! Oh yeah he was real smart about the shit too because he erased the number out of the call log so i couldn't call it back you know i was on fire, and no i haven't called 11 years is enough eleven years and one engagement no. Then my crazy cousin gonna call my sister looking for me because she seen my cell number in her boyfriends call log and you know where her mind went from there but that call was strictly business i haven't talked to her yet but i just hope that she doesn't come at me side ways about it so i'm going to try to get in touch with her and let her know, but like i said if she comes at me wrong it's not going to be pretty at all, and like i told my sister i don't have to explain to nobody why my GROWN ass is calling that GROWN man if it wasn't for me to call he wouldn't have given me the number or if it was on some sneaky stuff he would have erased the call out of the call log like smart ass did i'm just so tired of this summer time drama and it seems as though it only happens in the summertime and really i don't care because i feel like i the queen
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        Bioprana  50, Female, Chile - 12 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    9:06 PM PST
       

    Spiritual life does not mean leaving the home and living in a solitary place. True spiritual life means looking upon the whole of mankind as one family, realising the unity in diversity, and leading a life of selflessness and love. Do not labour to amass wealth, but instead engage yourself in selfless service to earn credit in the bank of God.
    -BABA
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        shirleyxu  54, Female, China - 301 entries
    22
    Jun 2007
    12:46 AM EST
       

    I was very touched by Don Don'sa card on mother's day:

    Dear Mom,
    First of all, I believe I as a son, must say I love you. Alright, all you dumbasses that are peaking, there is nothing embarassing about this.
    Second, I think I shall make a promise, I will dedicate a book I have written one day to you.
    Third, I wish that in your heart you will always have the eternal happiness you do, No matter what, when, or why, my greatest wish is that you are the happiest Mom in the world, now and forever!


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        CarlyJade  38, Female, Oklahoma, USA - 7 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    6:16 AM CST
       

    So last tuesday night Jessica and I decided to go out and have a few drinks! It was around 9:30. We walked all the way down to El Tigre and saw that nobody was there. So we decided to walk beck to Tiki, when he got there they had shut down for the night. so we decided to see if Tres wanted to go out with us, so we wakl back to the dorm, and couldnt find him. Then we ran into Ricardo. He was like i want to come with you girls. So we said sure, we talked to him in the court yard, and he couldnt decide which way to waer his hat. His english isnt all that good so..When he put his cap on backwards he said "I looka likea Badbad Boy!" it was to funny. So he goes up and changes and we run into Diego. We were talking to him and we told him that he is just to cute and he to doesnt have the good of english skills and he told us " I ama hot stuff" again frickin funny! So we walk back to El Tigre with Ricardo. The waiters rip jessica and I off and a cute guy actually wanted to dance with me. So it was an alright night.

    Then Last thursday i went out with Emily, Eric, Emily´s roomate and Jessica...
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        Gwenni  38, Female, Missouri, USA - 6 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    4:58 AM CST
       

    Welcome back to my life! Lol. Right now Jason and I are watching Emergency Vets on Animal Planet. Gotta love that channel! Unfortunately, Jason has to work today at 1:30 so I have to spend the evening alone. Well, not exactly alone, I'll be with Riley and Garf (Woot! Not really). Right now we are just waiting on some chinese food to get here. I ordered some Lo Mein and Hot and Spicy Shredded Beef. I havent had the beef before, so I'm excited to see if I like it or not. But anyways, I guess since I have to be here alone tonight, I might as well clean up. So, if it starts getting to be a mess again, I'm going to have someone's head! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....*evil eye*. Signing out for now. Gwenni <3
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        smb  50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    2:56 PM MST
       

    J saw DR. W yesterday. He said he couldnt say forsure if it was a sick sinus syndrome or not so he ordered more tests. So, J had an echo, EKG and came home with a 24 hour holter monitor. THe monitor was a pain in the but and he didn't really like it so much. BUT he did well and I am pround of him. I am so scrared !!! I am the most worried, 1 because I just worry a lot, 2 because I am the MOM, 3 because I lived with his dad and saw how scary it was to have a bad heart and the hell he went through and I can't bare seeing my son go through that! I pray it will all be okay and he will be FINE! but I don't know because J has been complaining of his heart "freaking out" and sure enough, when I feel his chest his heart is doing some weird stuff! THat scared the shit out of me! All, I can do is pray to God to take care of my baby boy and help me to be strong!
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        charlax  71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    12:39 AM MST
       

    poetry has enabled me to love
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